Ocean's Eleven

Ocean's Eleven.

This is one of those movies that I can watch over and over and over agan and never really get bored of. Sure, it's not perfect. It's not the heist of all heists. But really, I just think it's a great movie. It's funny, it's smart, and Brad Pitt can speak to everyone when his character, Rusty, is constantly shoving food in his piehole. And I think one of the best things is that even in the end, after I've seen this movie a thousand times, the end still gets me because I forget what happens. Plus, I mean, it has a young Matt Damon in it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. At all. Before he became Jason Bourne.

If you haven't seen this movie, here's the gist: Danny Ocean (George Clooney), gets out of prison. His trusty pal Rusty (Pitt), is around and they scheme up a heist. Which, of course, requires more than just them. With a rag-tag team of crazy people of various talents, they take on this guy named Terry Benedict's three casinos with the intent of robbing them blind. It's entertaining, a good movie for a boring day, and will probably make you want to go and try and think of something as intricate as they did, but, unfortunately, you won't be able to.

Also unfortunately, this was followed by two sequels, but we won't talk about those since this one was the most cohesive and the one that made the most sense in the series. And I mean in comparison to the other two. It's a good movie, though. Bernie Mac, Scott Caan, Brad Pitt, Clooney, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Casey Affleck. It's a good show. You should watch it.

The Hunger Games Left Me Empty

So I saw the Hunger Games. If you know me, and a lot of you probably don't personally, I'm a huge Hunger Games fan, having read the first 2 books over 10 times each. Mockingjay is the redheaded stepchild of the series that I pretend doesn't exist. But okay, so, I saw the Hunger Games. Midnight showing. Super excited. Put my phone away, determined I wouldn't need it because this movie was going to be SO AWESOME and SO EPIC and SO AMAZING and I would be BLOWN AWAY and ALL KINDS OF OTHER THINGS THAT DESERVE CAPITAL LETTERS.

But by the time I walked out of there, I think one of the first things I did was text my friends, and then I told them (and the world, via twitter), a variation of the following:

"That movie was effing terrible."

Because, in my world, it was.

Now, also in my world, I don't think that book-to-movie translations should have word-for-word interpretations of the script. That gets annoying, really fast. Making a small comparison here, in Harry Potter, some of the dialogue was adapted. For example, "NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH" HAD to be in the movie because really, it's one of the best parts of that book. But there are some clear differences between the books and the films which separate them as so. It makes it so much easier to appreciate both the book and the film separately.

Hunger Games didn't do that. It was almost as if the screenwriter took the book, put "KATNISS" in front of all the Katniss lines they wanted, put the action into brackets, and then handed it to the actors. Or, even better, handed the book to the actors and said "here, memorize this."

Now, before you get all angry, I'll say that I saw the movie twice and I liked it much better the second time around, but that was because I knew what to expect. There were some key things in the book that didn't make it into the film that I think should have, because the pacing in the movie was all weird.

Here's a list of the things that could have been included, changed, edited, for my sanity and to give the movie a little bit more ... depth. (WE MUST GO DEEPER.)

• Make District 12 a little less Frontierland and a little more impoverished hole. I felt like I was watching 3:10 to Yuma. 
• Katniss doesn't have to say "little duck" more than once. Really.
• Haymitch, I loved you, you were great, but you don't have to say 'sweetheart' at the end of every sentence. Otherwise, you were awesome and I adored you. #DrunkHaymitch!
• I wanted to see Katniss's disgust with the stylists. Because they have pretty 'big' roles in the next two books, I just hated that they were cut out.
• Katniss, this is Peeta. Peeta, Katniss. You're supposed to be pretending to pretend to be in love, unless you're Peeta, in which case you're actually in love.
• I feel like this movie would've been better if we didn't stick to Katniss's POV. Show us what's going on with Peeta. Show us how he convinced the Careers that he was worth their time.
• Speaking of the Careers, whenever they were around I felt like I was watching a fraternity. 
• Where was the lamb stew?
• Why did the arena make me think of my backyard? Because I swear that that's where it was filmed.
• On another note, make the fire costumes a little more believable next time.. The fire is supposed to look real. I could tell 100% that it was fake. Didn't even have me halfway convinced. 
• Everything was so corny! Look, I know that the Capitol is supposed to be over the top and ridiculous but everything just seemed so ... half-assed. Badly CGI'd. 
• WHERE. WAS. THE. BLOOD? This is a series about children killing children. I got more of a sense of urgency from that from the 5 second clip they showed of Games from a DIFFERENT year where some kid is about to fuck another kid up with a brick. That would be awesome to see.  The first thing at the cornucopia is supposed to be a BLOODBATH. I wanted brutal! I wanted pain! I wanted death. Which sounds terrible, but seriously, what's with the weakass violence, Gary Ross? 
• Where was the lamb stew? I already said this but now I'm seriously wondering why they cut that out. The whole feast with Katniss and Peeta set the standard for their in-love dealio. I was no more convinced that they were in love than I am convinced that rocks can turn into flowers. 
• "Damn you!" is a terrible line and should never be used. Ever. 
• So ..... why didn't Peeta lose his leg? Why did the last 70 pages of the book get completely rushed through in the movie?

Once I got over those, I was able to enjoy the movie the second time around. And I might enjoy it later on if I see it again. But I just really hated it the first time around, maybe because I was nitpicking or something. I think it could have been done so much better and that they tried so hard to stay true to the book that it felt forced, with no individuality. Maybe it'll get better. But it probably won't. 

On DVD/Blu-Ray/Why Don't We Have VHS Anymore Today

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I never posted a preliminary review of this when it was in theaters but to say that this movie was fantastic is an understatement. It won the Academy Award for editing and I think it was very well-deserved. Stellar performance given by both Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara, who completely transformed herself for the film. It was beautifully made and the kind of movie that I would love to watch over and over again.

The movie gives off an air of not only mystery and suspense, but also a sheer sense of terror. It is, by no means, a horror movie, but by the time that the viewer really figures out what's really going on, (provided they haven't read the book), the subject matter of the film can chill people to the bone. The mystery unravels itself throughout the course of the film and keeps viewers on the edge until the very end. For both the informed viewer and the first-introduction viewer, the movie is a dead ringer of what a thriller should be. Dark, dangerous, frightening, and engaging to the very last scene.

Unfortunately I watched this in a dark room in the dead of night and needless to say I was a wee bit scared to go to bed that night. Lisbeth Salander (Mara) is brilliant in every sense of the word and not the kind of person that you want going after you. Daniel Craig, on the other hand, is a beautiful soul and deserves all the awards for that face of his and can come after me any day that he wants. (Rooney Mara is beautiful too, obviously, but I still wouldn't want her coming after me while she's playing Lisbeth.)

You can buy Dragon Tattoo on DVD and Blu-Ray and probably some amount of stupid digital copy today.

Prometheus Has Some Freaky "DOO DOO DOOO DOO DO DO DOO" Music In Their Trailer And It's Enough To Make Me Want To See It. Also: Michael Fassbender

Looks kind of good. I have no particular feelings regarding Ridley Scott movies however this one looks good. And scary. I'll have to remember not to drink anything prior to watching.

A Consolidated Blog Post Regarding My Feelings On The Impending Arrival Of The Hunger Games

I feel like that last one might be more appropriate until after I see the movie but I had to use it because Tony Stark, y'all. 

Needless to say I'm pretty excited about it. 

Ah, yes, so, The Lorax, John Carter, Avengers, 21 Jump Street.

Yes, I realise I'm behind in this because unfortunately I have a job where I sit at a computer all day and sometimes I just get so lost in the abyss of the internet that I ... forget. But leave me alone, because the Hunger Games comes out in less than 2 weeks and if I was any more excited about that movie I might just scream or something.

But the Lorax was really cute. I've seen the previous cartoon version, and since I'm stuck in my ways like an old fart, I, of course thought that one was better. I'm also in my early 20s so going to a movie on a Friday night that's geared towards children was just asking to be surrounded by shrieking. But overall, I enjoyed the film. I think that its darker tones actually spread a good message about what the Lorax is actually all about, even if the musical numbers were oddly placed (you'd think I'd be used to random singing, I watch Glee all the time). Danny DeVito was funny as the furry orange dude with a mustache, and while I love Zac Efron I couldn't get over the fact that he's my age and was voicing a kid. It was just a wee bit weird for me and I couldn't get over it for the entire movie. Yes, it was a little pedantic at times but it's a movie geared towards little kids. What do you expect? The animation was good and the kids really seemed to like it, so I guess all was well.

John Carter, on the other hand, was a snoozefest.

Those aside, I'm looking forward to 21 Jump Street this Friday. Also, Avengers tickets went on sale in select markets yesterday and go out nationwide (I think.) on Friday. Avengers is in theaters May 4th.

In TV, I've finally got my hands on a copy of season 1 of Shameless and am making my way through that. I'm still whittling my way through seasons 7 and 8 of 24. Touch is showing this Thursday on Fox again, and Hawaii Five-0 is new next week so I'm thinkin' that it's gon' be a good week.

And, you know, The Hunger Games comes out next week so we've got that and all I guess. I guess that could be exciting. Maybe. Kind of. I guess.

Avengers Trailer 2.

I'm pretty sure my favorite part was when Tony Stark did his slo-mo badass walk of awesomeness onto the Stark platform while the suit disassembled. And then, at the end, with the whole "Guys. I'm bringing the party to you." and Black Widow's "bloody hell" face.

I'm just exuberantly excited for this movie. :(

Yes, I'm aware I suck.

Here's a video of endless Caruso one-liners to hold you over until I post about the Lorax later.

YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

A few things you should know.

1. There's a new Avengers trailer out. It's awesome. No, really, I think my face literally melted off at work when I saw it. 
2. I've probably seen Iron Man 2 upwards of three hundred times. Justin Hammer just cracks me up. 
3. But really, go watch the new Avengers trailer.
4. That being said, Hunger Games comes out in three weeks. Who's ready? This girl.