The Hunger Games Left Me Empty

So I saw the Hunger Games. If you know me, and a lot of you probably don't personally, I'm a huge Hunger Games fan, having read the first 2 books over 10 times each. Mockingjay is the redheaded stepchild of the series that I pretend doesn't exist. But okay, so, I saw the Hunger Games. Midnight showing. Super excited. Put my phone away, determined I wouldn't need it because this movie was going to be SO AWESOME and SO EPIC and SO AMAZING and I would be BLOWN AWAY and ALL KINDS OF OTHER THINGS THAT DESERVE CAPITAL LETTERS.

But by the time I walked out of there, I think one of the first things I did was text my friends, and then I told them (and the world, via twitter), a variation of the following:

"That movie was effing terrible."

Because, in my world, it was.

Now, also in my world, I don't think that book-to-movie translations should have word-for-word interpretations of the script. That gets annoying, really fast. Making a small comparison here, in Harry Potter, some of the dialogue was adapted. For example, "NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH" HAD to be in the movie because really, it's one of the best parts of that book. But there are some clear differences between the books and the films which separate them as so. It makes it so much easier to appreciate both the book and the film separately.

Hunger Games didn't do that. It was almost as if the screenwriter took the book, put "KATNISS" in front of all the Katniss lines they wanted, put the action into brackets, and then handed it to the actors. Or, even better, handed the book to the actors and said "here, memorize this."

Now, before you get all angry, I'll say that I saw the movie twice and I liked it much better the second time around, but that was because I knew what to expect. There were some key things in the book that didn't make it into the film that I think should have, because the pacing in the movie was all weird.

Here's a list of the things that could have been included, changed, edited, for my sanity and to give the movie a little bit more ... depth. (WE MUST GO DEEPER.)

• Make District 12 a little less Frontierland and a little more impoverished hole. I felt like I was watching 3:10 to Yuma. 
• Katniss doesn't have to say "little duck" more than once. Really.
• Haymitch, I loved you, you were great, but you don't have to say 'sweetheart' at the end of every sentence. Otherwise, you were awesome and I adored you. #DrunkHaymitch!
• I wanted to see Katniss's disgust with the stylists. Because they have pretty 'big' roles in the next two books, I just hated that they were cut out.
• Katniss, this is Peeta. Peeta, Katniss. You're supposed to be pretending to pretend to be in love, unless you're Peeta, in which case you're actually in love.
• I feel like this movie would've been better if we didn't stick to Katniss's POV. Show us what's going on with Peeta. Show us how he convinced the Careers that he was worth their time.
• Speaking of the Careers, whenever they were around I felt like I was watching a fraternity. 
• Where was the lamb stew?
• Why did the arena make me think of my backyard? Because I swear that that's where it was filmed.
• On another note, make the fire costumes a little more believable next time.. The fire is supposed to look real. I could tell 100% that it was fake. Didn't even have me halfway convinced. 
• Everything was so corny! Look, I know that the Capitol is supposed to be over the top and ridiculous but everything just seemed so ... half-assed. Badly CGI'd. 
• WHERE. WAS. THE. BLOOD? This is a series about children killing children. I got more of a sense of urgency from that from the 5 second clip they showed of Games from a DIFFERENT year where some kid is about to fuck another kid up with a brick. That would be awesome to see.  The first thing at the cornucopia is supposed to be a BLOODBATH. I wanted brutal! I wanted pain! I wanted death. Which sounds terrible, but seriously, what's with the weakass violence, Gary Ross? 
• Where was the lamb stew? I already said this but now I'm seriously wondering why they cut that out. The whole feast with Katniss and Peeta set the standard for their in-love dealio. I was no more convinced that they were in love than I am convinced that rocks can turn into flowers. 
• "Damn you!" is a terrible line and should never be used. Ever. 
• So ..... why didn't Peeta lose his leg? Why did the last 70 pages of the book get completely rushed through in the movie?

Once I got over those, I was able to enjoy the movie the second time around. And I might enjoy it later on if I see it again. But I just really hated it the first time around, maybe because I was nitpicking or something. I think it could have been done so much better and that they tried so hard to stay true to the book that it felt forced, with no individuality. Maybe it'll get better. But it probably won't.